“And if they’re not into it, don’t feel rejected. “Don’t preface with saying, ‘This is so crazy, and I’m so weird.’ Just confidently say what you’d like to try and what you’re into,” Zane suggests. “Outside the bedroom, when you’re not about to have sex, have a sit-down conversation,” suggests Zachary Zane, a sex expert, LGBTQ+ activist, and ambassador for sex toy brand Lovehoney.įinally, although disclosing your kinks can bring up a lot of internalized shame and stigma for some people, remember that kink is actually quite normal: Studies estimate that about a third of the population has tried kink in some form or another, and even more people have fantasized about it. While you might be tempted to surprise your partner with a brand-new paddle or pair of nipple clamps when you’re in the mood to spice things up, often it goes more smoothly if you open up a dialogue about kink before buying a non-refundable toy your partner might not even like. How to bring up kinky toys with your partner
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